Keep on getting in the way of myself....
I feel like crying. Do I have no self control that I can't fast one day?
Yeah, when I have something that will ruin my diet I decide "oh fuck it, i'm already ruined"
and that bulimic thing?....yeah I know I wanted to quit yesterday, but I did it again...
So upset at myself. AND mad that my mom makes me eat and that her boyfriend is cooking new food for us every single DAY! And if I don't eat it i'm being rude. Hate my moms new work hours.
I am able to fast the entire day until I get home and people are around. Could have done it if they were both at work.
Yes, i'm looking for some one to blame, but it's all on me. And I know it's my body, but my mom thinks she owns me and is in control of everything I do. Fuck that. I was trying my best to be nice to her but I guess the bitter me is back.
If that's what it takes to be in full self control once again.
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